After yesterday's blog and the constructive interaction I did think I would blog a response. Grateful for the suggestions about what to do on October 14, I can let folk know that plans are afoot for some notable 'markers'.
The decked front garden designed to facilitate Katey's wheelchair and love of engaging passers by in conversation has now been torn up. It had provided many happy hours for coffee drinking for us both. As Katey deteriorated it was also the place of learning and laughter as yours truly sought to master the skills of carer and attempted to assist Katey with her feeding and drinking. 'Canteen Medals' appeared a plenty as random food and liquids squirted back out of her mouth to cover both her and me - and the laughter that followed only exacerbated the situation.
St Farncis out of his love for the animal kingdom, dubbed the human body as Brother Ass! How right he was. When we lose the ability to manufacture cool we quite simply manufacture humour a plenty. And so that garden was a place of many happy moments, some of laughter, some of deep conversation, some of rich silence. However, once Katey finally had to progress to a nursing home the garden, symbolic of her physical life, deteriorated.
Now, one year later, decking removed, trees and shrubbery gone, a new carefully designed garden of tranquility is being laid and will be completed before the anniversary of her departure in the arms of angels. It will provide a haven of peace and a source of rich memories. It is the first part of a major household refurbishment as a home of hospitality and hope is constructed - values Katey epitomised from the moment I first met her.
The daily household rhythms of praying together, eating together, conversing together, and working together will continue with certain pilgrims stopping by for encouragement and refreshment. Not sure when the transition will be completed but I shall certainly keep reflecting upon it.
So the day will be richly marked ritually - my thoughts are more around the feelings that will flow through and around my physical, emotional and spiritual self. As ever these I know will be rich even when acute. It's never what life throws at us, but always about our chosen response.

