I am a member of the Fellowship of Renaissance. In essence this is an instrument to enable me to fulfill my commitment to abandon all to follow Christ. This simple statement trips easily off the tongue. However, this is not the case. I for one trip over it even as I speak it. It seems to me that the problems that Christianity, and indeed any religious group, faces is the dissonance between the message and the praxis. Nothing new here.
I for one can choose issues surrounding lifestyle and do so to reflect my beliefs in my choices and decisions. However, in moving towards a commitment to use my undoubted talents, learning, and life experience in addressing this issue I find myself in a place of isolation. In all my conversations to date with competent, Christian leaders not one has been able to engage, direct, or deploy those three contributions into an effective space. So I remain underemployed with the emphasis that I need to work to generate income, but that very work will completely remove me from a position both to work alongside the marginalised (time would be consumed working to someone else's drumbeat) and I would through the financial rewards I received be removed from the ability to identify with them. I would become a philanthropist - giving much, changing little.
I have included a response I made to my good friend Eric Neubauer's excellent blog (http://compassioncorps.wordpress.com/) that captures the pain and confusion that accompanies my journey of abandonment.
sharing in His sufferings is probably the most profound decision any of us can ever make. The emphasis is often on the appropriateness of embracing the scripture and associating ourselves intellectually with Paul. However, as any one knows who makes a heart response out of obedience it opens the door to untold personal terrors of insecurity, lack of control, isolation, and abandonment to name just a few. We so need that small group of followers who are embracing sufferings as a deliberate step of obedience to encourage each other, as the early disciples most certainly did. Maybe Compassion Corps needs a retreat for those of us who need such fellowship with each other.
Much to reflect on here. The thinking is unfinished as the best thinking always is. There are no slick answers and the need for fellowship is as acute as our need for water to sustain life itself. This is the road less travelled - and one we in the Fellowship of Renaissance are to explore together. I can make no apology for the pain that lies ahead of us all.
