friarmike

Recovery Road

Turning Again is a guest blog by Jonathan Wilson-Hartgrove dealing with Recovery Road. His community in Durham, North Carolina, USA, works to explore alternative approaches to pursuing the Kingdom Dream, offering hope and opportunity to bewildered and burnt out people.

'On the wall of a recovery community that I knew well a decade ago, there hung a sign that I haven't been able to get off my mind lately. It said in simple, bold letters:

My recovery is not complete until I help to heal the society that made me sick.

In so many ways, School for Conversion is an extended recovery community. The turning that we try to foster is a conversion of our whole lives from the death-dealing patterns of addiction, abuse, and neglect to the daily rhythms of beloved community. Whether it's neighbourhood youth work, classes in prisons, or seminars on new monastic community, all of us are doing what we're doing because we know that we need to be healed.

Maybe you could say that everyone's primary motivation here is selfish. Our kids want to do well in school. Our coaches want to do something meaningful with their lives. Students from inside the prison love a place where they feel like human beings. Students from outside love a context where ideas come to life. The professors tell us they keep coming back because they want to be here.

We're each doing what we're doing because we know it's what we need.

But what we're doing is about more than our own needs. Brittany helps me remember that. A young woman who grew up in Durham, Brittany has struggled to find work and make a life for herself in this, her hometown. A recent report on our city says that, over the past eight years, 150,000 new jobs have come to Durham--a majority of them entry-level, well paying jobs. But almost none of these jobs have gone to people like Brittany. Unemployment among those under 29 has gone up, if fact, during this time of unprecedented economic growth.

Brittany came with us on our 21st Century Freedom Ride last month. She listened to stories from the Civil Rights movement and met peers from today's undocumented youth movement who have been experimenting in nonviolent social change. "If my struggle with finding a job is not limited to me," Brittany said after we got back, "then this means that someone else is having the same struggle as I am.... I do have the power to make a difference if I stand up for what I believe in and put in the time and effort to make change possible."

Brittany is learning that her recovery from this broken system will never be complete until she helps to heal this society that has made so many of us sick.

What's more, she's helping me to see that this is the work we're called to--not only creating spaces for people to heal, but also empowering those who've experienced the transforming power of love to make a difference in their own communities.

It's why, right here in the neighbourhood, we've joined a coalition to establish a Neighbourhood Safety Council whose mission is to reduce racial profiling. And it's why, with other youth organisations in the city, we're helping to establish a Durham Youth Council to organise for jobs.

At the end of the day, we’re convinced that the turning we each need as individuals is the conversion that our systems and institutions need, too. In the end, our whole world must be born again. But the only way to get there is the way of love--a way that insists that none of us is healed until all of us are healed.

Which is why I can't forget that sign: "My recovery isn't complete until I help the society that made me sick to heal." Indeed.

Thanks for continuing to walk with us on this road to recovery,

Jonathan' 

In Search of Saints

One wonders where the avalanche which is the Murdoch meltdown will end. The very media that Murdoch has championed and fed himself from has now perhaps turned to strike him back. 24/7 reporting has created a voracious appetite amongst news junkies whilst commentators have to find continuous new angles to fill the airwaves.

It is worth reflecting that the series of high profile resignations may be a direct result of this incessant clamour for news print or broadcast material. Is it appropriate that senior police officers in the Met. should resign so suddenly? Especially before the results of a full and frank public enquiry reports! Even the Prime Minister looks vulnerable. It will be left to historians to wrestle with the necessity or wisdom of some of these immediate decisions. News can it appears create the news.

Certainly the instant nature of news and the reach that media has via TV and the internet has created a culture requiring instant reaction and response. The news junkie wants an update or fresh angle each time s/he tunes in; the journalist needs to keep the story developing both to justify their existence and to contrast the present news hour with the last.

The global nature of networked news has immediate effect upon the financial value on News International with their share price having lost 20% of its pre crisis value as of this morning. Indeed this may present the greatest challenge to Mr Murdoch’s continuing control. Shareholders will not be happy!

We can all witness the reach and the power of new media - how best to enhance this remains a critical challenge. The whole of the UK seems to be swift to decry the evil of the Murdoch community - and by inference assume people in responsible positions are somehow, by virtue of that position, moral and ethical by default. Sadly this is not the case - humanity reflects its perennial fracture in every field of human endeavour. The disappointing fact is that no one seems to tire of the consistent failure of the humanist, secular experiment. Christianity remains in many ways ‘out of bounds’ yet offers a positive alternative to all that confronts us.

The church most surely has its faults, but tarnished saints are preferable to no saints at all. 

 

Egypt Chooses

Choice is a highly valued activity. In the west we take a high view over freedom of choice. Indeed many perceive it to lie at the very heart of our democratic process. Yet freedom to choose is itself often subject to external controls. For there is always someone or some interest that really wants to limit or direct my choices.

UK democracy itself is somewhat flawed. Once a vote is cast, albeit within the protection secrecy affords in preventing external manipulation in the casting itself, its value must largely be dependent upon the capacity of its beneficiary (in this case the elected parliamentary member) to exercise a measured discipline over her/his actions.

Once elected an MP is a representative and not a delegate. Therefore they have a freedom to choose how they will behave on a host of political agendas without in truth paying much regard to the interests of those who cast the vote.  

Naturally they will not ride roughshod over their constituents for fear of failing to be re-elected. However, in real terms I doubt many follow closely how their elected representative votes in representing their interests. Of course in these days of an active global internet it is easy to follow one’s MP by logging onto www.theyworkforyou.com. The fact so many of us don’t says something rather worrying about our own political activism in the UK and is a self imposed restraint upon my freedom of choice. It may also say something about how low a regard we have of democracy - or any political system.

Again, when we discover that we do not like what the parliament is determining we have the opportunity to make that known through an email to our MP or by turning out on an organised protest initiative - and if we can’t find one we could organise one. Here the availability of social media is so very helpful. As are sites such as 38degrees. 

 

Now freedom of speech only exists in as far as we are willing to give effect to those times when we find ourselves in disagreement with the statements or actions of our elected representatives. It takes effort to take to the streets and give tangible expression to such disagreement. Even then such expressions might be noted and then ignored as a million citizens experienced marching against war in Iraq.

Perhaps the answer lies neither with the MPs nor with the people. Rather such a level of unease amongst the electorate should trigger a more in depth and participatory national dialogue. This might secure greater wisdom than the very blunt instruments of either cabinet government or street protest. I wonder if our commitment to democracy and dialogue would allow for such periods of patient conversation with a view to expanding the options before finalising the decision? Technology would certainly be able to enable just such an approach.

And so as we look across at the crowds gathering in a variety of Egyptian cities we face some challenging questions.

Is this the people of Egypt calling for a peaceful change in the  way they are governed? Are their malevolent forces at work, at present hidden, biding their time to take advantage of the instability people power is generating?

Our own politicians, who appear to have been comfortable with Mubarak for 30 years, are slowly changing the tone of their comments as they look on as ‘democrats’ and want history to record them on the right side of the eventual outcome. Yet they also have an agenda that they name ‘stability’. I think crudely this means they would not like an extreme form of government to replace the totalitarian rule of Mubarak and the army for fear of losing ground across the region and being faced with some form of government they find it difficult to deal with. At least Mubarak needed dollars, and dollars secured a measure of regional restraint, which was deemed to be in the West’s interest, if not all the Egyptian peoples who were afforded little choice in this!

So to what extent can we trust people with freedom of choice? Are there greater goods that need guardians, usually elected politicians but in Egypt’s case the army, to secure them on behalf of the people? Is democracy itself fatally flawed if key decisions regarding security, economics etc are left to the people to determine? Is it simply there is neither time nor an appropriate system to facilitate a wider body of citizens from taking critical decisions?

No doubt we all have a view, but as in the rest of life any decision carries a risk - from choosing a job to electing for one form of elective surgery over another. The very point of freedom of choice is that the agreed outcome may not give us precisely what we thought it might. However, I am still unconvinced that the risk of leaving it to a cabal of elected officials reduces that risk to any great extent. If, quite simply, the fewer people that have real power attached to making choices, the accumulation of power in the hands of one person must be seen as a certain guarantee of security. Maybe Mubarak has not got it so wrong after all! By which I mean if the decision making powers are gifted to the few (cabinet) or, as in Mubarak's case, quite simply the power of one we are all in deep trouble. I feel true democratic approaches empower and enable the widest number of voices to participate, however to my surprise and sadness 'we the people' often collaborate unwittingly in such minority decision taking either by default or simple passivity.

We wait with interest to see what the people decide - oh, and also how our political heavyweights position themselves through carefully crafted speeches. Whatever else we can but pray for safety for the tens of thousands who gather together with all integrity to express through physicality that they are choosing change at this time.

 

 

Mediation Matters

A mediated settlement of the ‘civil damages’ brought by the so called Guantanamo Bay detainees, has been made. This may seem strange given the high visibility and political sensitivity of the presenting issue - torture - however, it is a sane and sensible solution to the outstanding argument between the former detainees and the government that may or may not have been complicit in their torture.

How the benefits of mediation stand out. A swift, confidential and comprehensive settlement achieved with the active participation of all parties facilitated by the mediator(s). 

Advantages: 

Avoiding a long drawn out court case.

Keeping to sensible costs throughout.

Enabling all parties to speak openly and freely without fear of being misrepresented by the media.

Ensuring that the ‘civil damages’ are settled thereby clearing the way for a proper judicial enquiry into the legitimacy or otherwise of government and security service actions.

 

Disadvantages:

Nil!

 

Having worked in alternative dispute resolution over the last 11 years, it is a wonder that litigation remains the preferred means for settling disputes. The stress experienced by those pursuing small claims or Grievance Procedures through to Employment tribunals is hard to quantify. Both time and emotional energy, let alone bank loads of cash get eaten away, with seldom a constructive outcome.

With mediation parties get to tell it ‘as it is’, they negotiate supported by a third party, and they determine the exact details of any settlement.

I was encouraged to see that BBC’s ‘Cowboy Trap’ program on November 11 (episode # 34 for those with iplayer) took time to explain the benefits of mediation of the costly and often never settled litigation routes adopted by the majority when ‘it all goes wrong’. 

Mediation is certainly the way forward, and in what is now dubbed an ‘age of austerity’ is most certainly the most effective way to settle disputes.

 

Living Lightly

Just came across a useful site today facilitated by the Arocha community. The precise internet location is found here.. I immediately registered. As a friar this is a subject that interests me considerably. However, I have probably done no more than entertain radical thoughts and engage in rather fruitless academic discussions until five years ago.

My dad, who had been diagnosed with a terminal dose of prostrate cancer some 20 years earlier, had just received the news that his years were indeed now fast ebbing away. Mum and dad finally accepted my invitation to move closer, having put  up a most excellent fight to maintain a wonderful garden and allotment for over 60 years. I think it was growing up and having to spend every free hour tilling the ground and growing fresh produce for the kitchen table that most likely created in me the desire never to own a garden - and eventually I achieved that laudable state!! However, I am a happy purchaser of others’ home grown harvests - and indeed the best chef I know!!

To return to the main thread. Having been instructed to find a suitable apartment, my father set about ‘downsizing’ his post-war, suburban collection of things. The two conditions were almost as terminal as the cancer. First the post-war mentality had created in him (as well as my mum) a commitment to never throw away anything ‘just in case’ it  came in ‘handy’ at some future time. The suburban factor meant he had more than sufficient space - garage, sheds, large loft - to store it all in. The fact that he still had his 1920s touring bike that I had never in my lifetime seen him either ride or maintain in a roadworthy condition together with a Honda 90 spare engine from my student days reveals just what a hoarder he was. And the thought of ‘freecycle’ would never have occurred, if indeed it had been invented!

Fortunately I was delivered (together with my siblings) from having to ‘deal’ with all this since the time factor meant that dad simply had to ring around and find someone who cleared the lot. The joy of this was that there were no unhealthy sentimental conversations in any of our heads about ‘heirlooms’ or other such mechanisms that weigh us down and distract us from treading lightly. We could not move the ‘horde’ to a new location.

In watching him downsize - all he and mum had accumulated plus most of their furniture - helped me reflect upon how much of my father had transferred itself to me. I recognized that I could ‘talk a good game’ but really needed to downsize my own life - whilst I still had mobility and the opportunity to benefit from a reduced urban footprint. So I set about turning theory into practice - but it was hard.

I had accumulated a massive library as I love books. The majority were read once and carefully shelved. More and more walls called for shelving, whilst other books remained boxed in the loft. Now books are for communicating with the general populous and here was I selfishly preventing books from being enjoyed by anyone other than myself. I fought many battles but over five years I have reduced my books by 90% and still probably have around 500. 

The battles in my head as to why I should NOT release my books were endless, subtle and deceptive! Yet as I moved them on I found it easier each time to return to the books I had saved in the previous purge and, often just a few months later, move them on as well. I now have my extensive Syriac collection of primary and secondary sources,  a shelf or two of books on spirituality, my mediation tomes, and of course my various birding guides. The next challenge is to shift my extensive poetry collection.

I am helped in that many books are free online as e-books, and also the arrival of my Kindle has also helped reduce my spend, carries my PDFs in a readable form (oh the joys of ‘e-ink’) and means I can pass this around the friary for others to read. Also with Universalis providing offices throughout the day online together with the Daily Lectionary direct to my inbox, I do not need my liturgical books nor a hard copy of the Bible. This is also really helpful traveling - I never need to check luggage if I fly!!

One cautionary note, and I may return to this at some point, living lightly for me is about obedience to a sense of call I have and is not a general principle. Each of us must live according to the light we are afforded from whatever is our ultimate reality - for me the Christian Trinity. It is easy to become shrill around this as a single issue - and single issue approaches are far too narrow and lack the color and complexity of the substance of life itself. It is as easy to become a fanatic, damning all who are not true ‘disciples’ in the school of simplification. This reminds me of the terror during the French Revolution and I am not a supporter. 

For me the end is obedience as I say, and a recovery of so much more time for gentle pursuits with people I love and respect. I am looking at the necessity of TV next and my spectator sport addiction!! Is there no end to my diseased life?

National Citizen Service

 So David Cameron suggests a non-compulsory scheme for young people. A voluntary scheme that the would be next PM pledges to get ALL teenagers involved in “over time”!

Don’t hear me wrong. I am a great believer in voluntarism. In fact I am depressed by the number of conversations I have endured with folk who won’t move two yards down the extra mile until or unless their employer pays them for the extra work.

Voluntarism is essential for any society to work effectively. When my mum hovers on her doorstep unable to take the lid of her medication and requests the help of a passing stranger, his voluntary act proves most constructive. Mum gets her tabs on time, he has a story to tell of something significant he contributed.

Sadly one of the things that most frustrated me as a churchgoer was the fact that unless voluntarism was aligned with a church programme, nothing happened. Personally so perhaps illegitimately I contrast the failure of church attendees to visit my wife, yet a willingness to participate in an aids victim visitation programme organised by the church.

The great benefit of voluntarism is that it happens all over the place all of the time with little need for co-ordination. Indeed where a collaborative effort is required, I commend the activities of the Whyke Residents Association, Chichester who together worked to transform their estate.   

Indeed there is little difficulty collaborating and the model of creative conversation pioneered by the world cafe movement is an excellent example of how we can talk and decide together how we want to act, locally and globally!

Volunteers require an amount of disposable time to invest so serious volunteers do not get overcommitted. Volunteers are me and you doing something that may be below the media radar but which has an astronomical impact upon the situations we voluntarily contribute to.

Back to young David, it sounds so much like an appeal for votes, a good idea in principal. However, most ideas born and introduced this way quickly become a means for employing overpaid volunteer organisers (they should volunteer their skills and time) and suffer from the creation of an unwieldy and unnecessary bureaucratic structure.

Great idea David - but just join with other politicians from all parties and say everyone could benefit from becoming a volunteer!! Then we can truly see you have the interests of our country above any conservative party agenda.

Kindness

So the election gun has been fired and the race is on! Even the metaphors are militaristic and competitive. Yet in amongst all the hype what price kindness?   

All the words of politicians over the next few weeks are going to be treated with a high degree of cynicism, or perhaps worst of all, ignored altogether. I get the sense from talking with many individuals that politics itself, and those who ply that trade, is no longer trusted nor, worst of all, respected.

This is a tragedy! These are the women and men who have the opportunity to attempt to craft a gentler, kinder way of living for us and future generations. The many advances made in human understanding, creation and distribution of wealth as well as human development can be deployed through collaborative efforts to increase the value of life in these Islands of ours. Yet even my optimism struggles to believe that will be the outcome of a new government - however well hung!!

As I travel around I discover people respond well to kindness. A cheery word, an optimistic approach, a recognition that we can each make the best of who we are and where we find ourselves. In fact I find many inspiring examples of people embracing and celebrating life in circumstances that might crush me. I also observe many other appear driven by forces beyond themselves - chasing unrealisable dreams in unrealistic ways.

I hate to disparage my American cousins, but I wonder if we have not imported the trauma of the so-called ‘American Dream’. It is this fiction that inspires every wannabee American Idol entrant. Simply put it infers that the sky is the limit and everyone of us can shoot for the sky - our dreams!! 

Whilst there is an obvious truth in this statement - we each have the right to shoot for our dreams - there is also a cautionary corollary. This is a recognition that gifts are diverse and at any one time in society certain skills are favoured more than others. A stone mason was once what a broker is today, a favoured trade commanding a high wage. The tragedy of the ‘American Dream’ mythology is that it does three things. First it demands I select a career path that seems to offer an obvious route to high earnings and social acceptance. Secondly it insinuates that everyone starts with the same opportunity for success. And finally, it infers that high earnings and wide social acceptance are the keys to happiness.

Sadly truth is that life is much richer than this simplistic analysis allows. We are not all starting at the same place - some are brighter than others, some more gifted, some wealthier, some more adept at finding their way in the world. And what can be lost is the richness such diversity provides to a society. We can learn more from those least like ourselves, both in social background and aspiration, than those we find attractive because of their similarities. When we engage with those unlike ourselves we may find it challenging but we learn more about who we are as well as about who ‘they’ are. 

I would like some political speeches about kindness - more than measurable outcomes. Appreciation over targets, moderation above profligacy. Income taxes, as opposed to sales taxes, seem a good idea   to me since they secure a health service that is the envy of many and a quality of support for the elderly who have made their honest investment in creating the society I now enjoy, an investment the cost of which is equitably spread across the nations workforce. Maybe warnings such as the banks carry that investments can fall as well as rise might also prove useful in instructing a new generation entering the work force that it is not all about personal wealth accumulation. 

Life is more than economics and we can craft a kinder gentler society should we choose to do so. It is built upon simple kindnesses extended to one another everyday. Kindnesses that say I matter, you matter, we all matter. I should take more responsible decisions once I embrace that simple way of living!!

Help for Heroes

Help for Heroes is a brilliant charity established to pay tribute to, focus attention upon and provide support for wounded service personnel returning from Britain’s warfront. As the son of a WWII ‘Desert Rat’ (7th Armoured Division, Middlesex Yeomanry) who fought across Africa, up through Italy before being extracted and prepared for D-Day, I am pleased to see men and women recognised in this way. I am sad that for my father and his colleagues  they never received the recognition owed them by their country for their voluntary service in defence of a nation’s moral values. 

However, I am more concerned for the forgotten thousands involved in underwriting this nation’s wealth, engaged in battles that leave there own indelible scars, I am speaking of family carers, a voluntary resource that for love alone and belief in the value and dignity of human life, give up everything to ensure a loved one is as comfortable and safe as their illness allows.

Let me say at once that I am neither saint nor prophet. Had it not been for my own experience I would no doubt have been drinking deep of the good things of life as fast as the next person. Earning high income, which my privileged educational background guaranteed, and paying scant regard for the invisible worlds of suffering humanity in the streets surrounding my home. 

With Katey’s illness came forced retirement through ill health. This meant a much reduced pension and economic vulnerability. For myself I chose to leave my career and invest my time and skills in learning to care as I had promised in my marriage vows - and this was such a steep learning curve. I am not a natural carer. I immediately showed my frustration and stress, and sadly Katey had to deal with this alongside her MS. So many people keep their distance once you start behaving ‘stressed’, marked by bad language, impatience, and despair. 

So here we were needing to spend money on things we had not anticipated, and of course this is a captive market so the prices are always marked high, at a time when our ability to generate income was circumscribed by circumstances beyond our control. We were thrilled at the support of two key couples, without whose financial investment we would have found it very difficult to make the transitions Katey’s illness required.

Yet our story is merely to be illustrative of the myriad households caught in this world of uncertainty, chaos and stress. Certainly there is some external help available, although you need to battle to secure you get on the health budget where your needs are met rather than the social budget, where you are means tested. You also have to discover the ‘critical word list’ as I term it. Without these words you will be unable to trigger certain financial resources and practical support available through social services. It appears you are nor just fighting the disease and your own incompetence faced with new experiences, but also a culture of obfuscation carefully crafted by fund managers to help them manage limited budgets.

We have a nation of heroes, buried deep, undercover, unseen and unknown. These carers are amazing. And you can tell that the role of carer is unattractive by the number of older people virtually abandoned by their families at the point at which they need the most support. Why is this? Why should it be that tax payers money should be spent providing support for older people who have children? Is it not their responsibility to care for their own parents?

Too often we are presented with arguments about the need to earn, geographical difference etc etc. In an election campaign just kicking off we are presented with state driven responses to meet the challenges each of us may face in old age. Yet little talk of blood family responsibility.

I say let us remember that this lifestyle we have designed for ourselves comes at a price. Most of us are committed to others picking up that price tag. We need to reveal the legions of heroes who present us with the freedom to live as we choose to live - and we need leadership. I wonder if we want to address this topic, indeed have the courage to initiate a national conversation inviting everyday people to contribute to designing the future we want and carers and older people deserve?

Vote for who?

I note that today David Cameron launched the Conservative election campaign. On Sunday our esteemed PM, Gordon Brown, will make his riposte. They are undoubtably in earnest. They may well however be entirely out of touch. 

Securing an election victory requires a majority of voters to put you into power. It is likely that this election may well see a majority of the minority vote some party or other in. The majority that really count most likely will not vote simply because they are disbelieving of election promises and doubt politicians' integrity.

Certainly I assume people in my generation will vote - we saw the value of voting in our youth and our democratic values were inspired by vietnam, the civil rights movement, and the legacy of empire. However, a conversation with my daughter reveals how hard it will be to engage those eligible to vote for the first time. Even with the forms available that require but a simple signature to secure registration for a postal vote - i.e. no need to head for a polling station everything from the comfort of one's own home - she steadfastly retains her view that to vote is quite simply a waste of her time and not a single party or politician is worth voting for. Even Grandma's impassioned speeches about the sacrificial suffragettes leaves her cold!

This complete lack of respect for the political apparatchiks that swell our parties ranks is a dangerous indicator that democracy as we have experienced it is now in the balance. It is a time when extremist politics and dictatorship could well emerge to threaten the freedoms we enjoy - often on the pretext of restoring order, duty, and integrity. 

I for one am not sure how to mobilize people seriously to consider politics as a valuable and integral part of securing a safe and viable future nor can I be that convinced about mobilizing people to return to the polling booth. Indeed I am having to fight the persistent voice in my head that tells me politicians are in it for the benefits they accrue rather than for any vision of a better Britain and a safer Europe.

So those who will financially benefit from one party or another (an ever decreasing minority of interests) will earnestly vote. As for everyone else they will either stay away or experiment with their vote, opening the door for some extremists parties to do very nicely. An interesting year ahead.

Quietness

It is the quietness that follows the departure of family members that best captures Christmas. Of course in the hulabaloo of family celebrations around fine foods and fine wines there is a sense of celebration - but it is a somewhat brash affair. It may just be me but I am left a little uncertain about the benefits of the large gathering around the meal table. Conversations seem uncertain, there is the competition for centre stage between various family members and of course the exchange of presents so that one feels overwhelmed by 'stuff'.

I love the gathering, the stories, the sleeping, the little power plays and off stage huffs but feel it is owned by Christmas rather than creating a Christmas experience of value for its own sake.   Today however, as guests depart and the house falls quiet I can reflect upon this season of gratitude once again and sense something of a love that is beyond my comprehension. My struggle is for three days of managing a Christmas event with blood relatives on every side - Jesus' was to love in an unfamiliar environment related only by an assumed humanity. 

It is very difficult to reach for metaphors that make sense of such a sacrificial action. And I know I am unable to make much more than a 5% response to love in so committed a way. My life will once more revolve around meeting my own physical, emotional and spiritual needs for another year when I shall find myself at this point once again, a year older but no wiser. It has happened each year thus far and I cannot see how it might change.

However, perhaps in this year ahead I might take a more proactive stance and implement more of the practical consequences of my spiritual understanding than I have risked - or rather been too lazy - so far. My head is full, my heart is convinced, but my body remains petrified. I shall wait in the silence and in 12 months time discover what work was being effected in that space.