friarmike

In search of a great cup of coffee

Well, travelling in west wales as a pilgrim it may seem strange to be contemplating a good shot of coffee. It might not be what one associates with a journey centered on the divine, and yet this is what I crave. In a region unspoilt by the usual commercial outlets, including coffee chains, that litter every city high street across the UK, there appears to be a distinct lack of both knowledge and taste for good coffee.

Strange what the body misses when removed from the comforts of its 'local patch'. I well remember missing Mars bars on my very first excursion beyond British shores to northern Nigeria. And I hardly ever ate Mars bars. Although there was a period when funds were tight and I was working with Youth for Christ when my lunch was a Mars bar every day for over a year - not the one you understand but a fresh one each lunchtime.

I have had two meals here, where the coffee I ordered to conclude proceedings was undrinkable. This is a first in my experience, and in no way reflects upon the welcome and hospitality of the locals. It is just poor coffee selection and poor coffee execution.

Thank the good Lord for Tyddewi and the Square Coffee Shop which serves exquisite coffee and in fact the most wonderful ginger cake I have ever tasted. It is perhaps a reminder to appreciate what one has rather than looking elsewhere for fulfillment. Also that there is untold pleasure in unanticipated discoveries. Now where did I put my Rooibush vanilla teabag?

Pilgrimage

Well what is pilgrimage? Quite simply it is taking the focus off oneself and placing that focus on God. Yesterday was one of those occasions as I stood on the coast of west wales. I knew a little of the history of St David but not how he and St Patrick were so closely connected. It was a journey of discovery as I found myself standing on the ruins of St Patrick's chapel from where he had heard the call of God to return to Ireland and carry the story of Jesus with him.

This had not been his first thought. However, when praying earnestly for the role of preaching the gospel to Wales, God had informed him in prayer that this task was not his but was already reserved for a man to be born thirty years hence. Somewhat disappointed Patrick left and, perhaps in a fit of pique, raised to life a man who had been dead for forty years and who was to become Patrick's companion to Ireland and then a bishop! Later St David's cathedral was built on the sight where Patrick had this conversation with God.

Standing on the ruins of Patrick's chapel I once agin renewed and was renewed in my call as both a friar and a pilgrim, and quietly readjusted my mission statement - no more friend and friar, but henceforward pilgrim and friar. Friendship is rare, relationship the normal currency by which we engage in human interaction. 

Patrick it seems had the right inclination in his heart to follow and serve God, simply he had the incorrect locus. My pilgrimage revealed to me that my instincts were indeed Godly, but the theatre of their expression was not where God intended. I anticipate being redirected to my 'Ireland adventure' soon enough. Good to know God still speaks today.

Is what we wear what we believe?

So Sarkozy sees the burka as a sign of female 'subservience' and does not want women to be allowed to wear them across France (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/8112821.stm). The very description he uses suggests something about his belief system, western, secularist, politically correct. The burka, he added, does not represent, '...the idea the French republic has of women's dignity'. No! I guess this is best represented by the culture of keeping both a wife and a mistress. At least in Islam you officially keep wives but no mistresses.

Still the debate is somewhat irrelevant isn't it? Does fashion reveal belief in any other than a bad way? A monk may do good work, a priest offer a lifeline to a bereaved family, but does the habit or the dog collar provide any added value today? 

Surely the merit of a belief is in its effect upon the 'believing' individual and the experience of the 'unbelieving' neighbour. Well that's what I get from the story of the good Samaritan. 

I cannot but wonder why those commending religion take up so much time first arguing with their co-religionists over objective expressions of truth that lie beyond reason and its handmaiden of proofs, before then engaging in over emotional argument with those of a different religious persuasion. All it takes to demonstrate the value of a belief is the experience anyone has of it. If I need a burka, a cross, an orange tunic to announce that I am both holy and right then I probably haven't got any contribution of value to make to society. What's more I am most likely neither ho;y nor right! If I just seek to be a friend, do some good that reflects my belief, and if asked provide a simple explanation, that is surely sufficient.

As a follower of Jesus I must confess with some shame that too many years have been taken up with designing the perfect Christian model, and too little just living as invited to by Jesus. My wife, Katey, as she battled with MS, quickly ran out of interest in what we believe as an objective fact and enjoyed experiencing the substance of that belief with those who dared to journey with her. She may have been dressed in outrageous garments by official carers short on time and searching for easy clothing solutions but let me tell you what Katey ended up wearing bore no resemblance to the wonderful women she was.

I am not convinced that what we wear tells anyone anything about what we actually believe - there is a better way to illustrate that. Its what each of us does moment by moment as day gives way to day.

The Sufficiency of Silence

I realised, once prompted by a friend, that I had not 'blogged' for a while. This caused me to reflect and the title of this blog formed itself. I find great pleasure in silence these days, something that surprises me even more than my friends. Not a silence that necessarily removes all background noise such as the traffic passing by, rather a ceasing from constant reasoning and an overwhelming need to get something done. I encounter the divine in the series of moments joined together to forge the flow of time, or rather in the silence out of which they are birthed.

Yesterday was the longest day, 21 June. As is my practice I took myself down to the seafront around 10.00 PM to observe the slow departure of daylight from the sky and the inevitable, if gradual, return of night. Left with my own space and surrounded only by the gentle sounds of sea on shingle and the occasional laughter of excited seafront revelers, I was overwhelmed with the vast magnitude of life within creation, and the impulse just to sit and experience awe and amazement crafted a memorable moment with the divine.

It only remains to say that I have been guilty of creating my own fair share of noise over the years - goals, visions, motivational calls, rallying cries etc. etc. Now I prefer to remain silent and let the silence do my talking for me. Those who have ears to hear will be greatly encouraged.

Shearer. Definitely NOT the man for the Newcastle United job!!

Well the unthinkable has happened. Newcastle United have been relegated - and probably deservedly so. Even supporters with black and white blood running through their veins admit their team have not competed effectively over 38 games. However, herein lies a dilemma. The cry of Tyneside is, 'Shearer, Shearer, Shearer'. But is he really the best candidate to take the team forward? I think not.

Shearer having won a Premiership title with Blackburn Rovers turned down an offer from Manchester United so that he might return and fulfill his childhood dream of wearing the number 9 shirt for Newcastle United. This in itself is laudable. Success on the field providing him with the vehicle for realising a passionate childhood ambition. However appropriate this may have been in 1996 it is irrelevant today. Thirteen years later the world of the premiership and of football itself has radically changed. It is now big business with big rewards. It is feted by huge numbers of ancillary businesses who increase their profitability less by association with the game than by association with the individual players. 

Where once it was enough to wear the shirt and give all for the team and their town or city, today it is about playing on the largest stage available for a global audience and international renown. Players cross international borders freely to secure a position at a club that will engage in European competition and enjoy the greatest exposure to media outlets such as SKY TV. 

One could make the case that few were playing 'for the shirt' against Aston Villa on the final day of the 2009 season. Sadly I think Mr Shearer still believes the loyalty and allegiance to shirt, club, and fans is the primary motivator inspiring the current crop of players. Whilst it might apply to a few, Stephen Gerrard and John Terry as examples, it is not the case for the most showcased player in England, Ronaldo. What is required in the current climate is strategic managers who can blend a squad capable of winning everything they seek. Such a squad must be carefully managed, player by player, and feted with their success on the filed, and well rewarded off it. The late arrival of Guus Hiddink at Chelsea this season demonstrates what a true manager can achieve with a squad he has not created but accepts the challenge laid down by owner and fans.

What Newcastle United need is to leave the land of the dinosaurs and enter todays footballing world. Even their tedious cries that their team is a 'great club' are increasingly hollow. They are not nor have they been a great club. They cover a large land mass and therefore attract a great number of supporters across the North East. This does not make them a great club, rather a well supported club. And credit where credit is due - fantastic supporters. There are two 'great' clubs in the premiership; Liverpool and Manchester United, and I support neither.

As Shearer cut an increasingly isolated and forlorn figure on the touch line as Newcastle continued to stumble and finally fell, his perception may prove significant for Newcastle's future. Bring him back to the commentary team and hand Newcastle to someone who grasps the fact that to play for Newcastle is no different to playing for any other club. The issue is crafting a squad that want to perform on the world's largest footballing stage, not for the shirt they wear but rather for the audience they can impress, the opportunities they can create for themselves, and to some degree the financial sponsorship they can attract. Football has changed. So must Newcastle United and it begins with the next managerial appointment!

Direct Democracy

As Douglas Carswell MP speaks enthusiastically about 'Direct Democracy' in response to the current nightmare in Westminster, The Jury Team have selected their candidates on the basis of popular choice for the upcoming Euro elections. It would be important to pause and consider the recommendations for Direct Democracy  as an antidote to irrepressible political party control and ineffective popular government.

I have started to wonder why it is that large Christian organisations and churches do not lead the way in this. We affirm that we subscribe to the view of every member being essential, and to the fact that many people laid down their lives to ensure the scripture was translated into English and made available to 'everyman'. This liberated the control over the interpretation of the scriptures from the hands of the literocracy. Ever since similar self appointed cliques have sought to seize back control, distrustful of the ability of everyday Christians to grow in spiritual maturity without their advice and intervention.

It would prove refreshing to see some church leadership actually consult and give voice to their membership. However, as with Westminster, the problem lies in the control and allocation of the resources. The popular vote might not reappoint existing leadership, nor approve of the salary and ancillary packages crafted for their benefit. Better to leave it in the hands of carefully selected Boards of Trustees (A.K.A cronies), many of whom serve perennially ensuring that the gene pool is seldom refreshed.

The principle of open government and complete trust in the electorate sounds a lot like democracy. The complete trust shown by god in a garden in the newly created electorate is equally impressive. We appear to have lost our way in a self seeking search for power, wealth, and the unaccountable exercise of authority. More on this to follow.

Head Knowledge

We are learning in the friary context that there is a great danger for each of us. That is that we can craft, create and live a whole life out of the vastness of our minds. Simply put, well intentioned imagination can replace the substance of reality with a very powerful fake substitute.

The greater danger lies in the fact that this theoretical world, well intentioned but completely imagined, becomes the substance of our communication and conversation. It is quite literally the 'Sims' without the software, a virtual world sustained by nods, winks, and an overwhelming longing for community life without the pain of actualization.

I am continually amazed at the high level of deceit that intelligent, rational, sentient, humanity can practice, and I do include myself in this. It would appear the idea is as real as the practice.

I have experienced this best with the many years of talk from pulpits, leading Christian communicators, and a broad swathe of ne0-evangelical churches concerning the issue of relationships. So many claimed the language and yet offered no more than support for those who made their regular contribution through attendance and financial investment. It would appear that as soon as that value diminished then those who were apparently in relationship with them disappeared - or to use the theological terminology, 'buggered-off' (from the Greek of course!).

Such relational talk was insubstantial and quickly evaporated. However, for me the only real relationships, ones that work, are those that are there for the long haul. They stand the test of time, and indeed the time of testing. They are few and far between, and greatly to be prized, nurtured and celebrated. Katey and I learned their true value as MS took its terrible toll on her life and the many 'relationships' she had forged within Revelation Church evaporated as the morning mist clearing Southsea castle. The loss and loneliness she experienced, known intimately to God whom she loved and worshipped, cannot be expressed in words. 

It is of little wonder to me that a message of faith and hope, which historically has characterized  the Christian gospel, proves of little value in a world of confused values and human misery. It is frequently no more than a series of well rehearsed statements, the vacuity of which are proved with their utterance and the expectation that the listener should sign up for a virtual world of fabled promises. If Christianity were a computer game it would prove an overnight success. I wonder if it can ever recover its flesh and blood roots epitomized in the incarnation?

MPs Expenses

Oh my! What a furore!! The media and general public circling like sharks around the sinking reputations of a majority of uninspiring self seekers representing few interests but their own. However, hardly a surprise surely. This is no more than natural human inclination exposed on a large scale. Lack of transparency and public accountability must in part be blamed - or do we think that the human condition is by nature high minded, principled, and good? History would suggest something other and for as long as we allow ourselves to believe that there are 'high minded' individuals then our democracy will be ruthlessly abused by those trading off such self delusion.

For my part the descent into a parliamentary democracy controlled by parties and local party selection committees is as much to blame as the ineffective public accountability process. My call would be for a different electoral process and the opportunity for independent candidates to stand and win once again. An independent does not require the benefit of favour from the whips office of any party, but may just have the courage of her/his convictions and the wit to consult the electorate in as honest a way as is possible. Let's have more independents I say and not just look down on the Palace of Westminster and its criminal occupants.

However, before even I sound too high minded I need to remember that I have worked in the charitable sector all my life where salaries and expenses are equally hidden and the level of public accountability and transparency is appalling. In this sector huge sums are raised from the general public by means of voluntary, tax enhanced sums for very worthy charitable objectives. Yet these sums seem to be available to make vast and largely unchallenged payments in salary and pension packages. The reasons stated are again that there is a need to attract the best candidates. But when was 'the best' ever determined by cash value? Mother Theresa, Martin Luther King Jr., Ghandi, Jesus - were these world changing characters engaged in social transformation on the basis of the salary and expenses package? Again I think not.

As with politicians it would appear we have lost sight of the word vocation. Many of us have invested  our lives as a result of this sense of a call to a vocation. Many charities now appear to value their contribution according to cost not care. I perhaps have to hold my hands up as having been such a beneficiary in the past without critiquing the system effectively.

My involvement with the Evangelical Alliance UK meant that a worthy Board sought to establish an appropriate salary level. But rather than taking say the average income of the Alliance membership it created a mythical comparison approach - comparison with some fictitious job of equal value in society. So high end executives were taken as the benchmark - the head of the Alliance deemed worthy of a £60K annual salary plus all the benefits of a full expenses and pension package - rather than say a vocational role such as a nurse, an occupational therapist, or a teacher. Surely charity has more to do with vocation than business! As a result charities are the next group of workers worthy of the Daily Telegraph's or other media investigative appetites. 

I hope we can again establish some independent charity workers, answerable to their constituency (be they in the Uk or the developing world, young or old) just as independents might find their way back into the mother of all parliaments - although currently known as a different mother altogether!

So what's in the news?

The recent reporting of Frank Lampard's alleged 'spat' with partner Elen Rives appears to have been elevated to national news status by both the print and radio media. Am I alone in wondering what public interest this serves? 

The radio presenter on LBC, James O'Brien, on the basis of the printed views of a journalist was prepared on air to use the words 'scum' and 'weak' to describe a fellow mortal who I assume he does not know. What's more he is prepared to talk about someone else's relationship as lover and parent - roles I think the majority of us in the real world recognise are exceptionally challenging to manage effectively and well.

Is it appropriate that because an individual is successful in their chosen career, one that rewards success generously, they be subject to public scrutiny, assessment and judgement? I think not. If there is a true public interest as in the misuse of public funds by elected officials, or the abandonment of the elderly within a social order that calls itself 'civilised', then by all means report on it, but with the facts not with opinions. These latter are available at two a penny in every coffee shop, but facts take a little longer and a good deal more care to gather.

There is much talk each summer about our examination system being 'dumbed down' and yet to me it appears the important dumbing down today is being orchestrated by the media. We are expected to take interest and/or delight in a private domestic matter, when the best any of us could do would be to seek to give every ounce of encouragement and support to all parties in this and the hundreds of similar situations faced by families throughout the UK.

Surely we are not content to have as our national epitaph, 'we gossiped our way into oblivion'! Would it not be better to be known nationally as those who journey bravely towards a society in which all people are encouraged and supported to achieve their maximum potential? Enough of this culture of cheap demolition and character assassination. The deposit it leaves in our culture is only cynicism and negativity, whose fruit is always violence. We need to stir up hope and work to create a culture of aspiration, mutual respect, and achievement.

Strangely these qualities are one aspect of Lampard's game on the field of play that are self evident and much applauded. A commitment to press to the final whistle for success, an inner belief to keep going, a desire for competing fairly for the prize offered within his chosen career. I for one believe we could learn more by reporting about Lampard the soccer player, than Lampard the family man. Although I also pray for his and Elen's success in working through difficult issues and would appeal to everyone to afford them the same level of privacy to high profile people that I would want in order to work out my personal, domestic challenges.

What a difference a day makes

Yesterday was a big day in British sport. It marked the 20th anniversary of the Hillsborough disaster when 96 Liverpool fans lost their lives in a tragic incident at their team's FA Cup semi-final held in Sheffield. The constant words from commentators leading up to this memorial were about just how hard it must be for families who suffered bereavement on that day. I, no doubt with countless others across the UK, understood the sentiment intellectually but got nowhere near emotionally.

For me, how that all changed within 24 hours. Today, April 16, would have been my wife's birthday. However, Katey sadly passed away last October. I did not know how I would engage with this day and it has proved an interesting learning curve. As with all these experiences, negotiation is only available live. There is no appropriate 'Grieving for Dummies' that cuts it. Somewhat like sailing around the world solo, the moment Katey died I cast off and left the safe haven of a comfortable harbour and have had to rely on my learnt skills and inventive genius to handle what the weather throws at me day to day, even hour by hour.

Today was the first day which completely transported me to the self same emotions I experienced walking away from the hospital moments after Katey departed. Numb, uncertain, isolated, and blearily observing the world through eyes that constantly filled with gentle tears. 

I had thought maybe I was well on the way to managing this loss, but what a surprise. I was literally ambushed by my emotions and could just about navigate my way through the day hour by hour. This I did as honestly and constructively as possible. The wealth of memories that raced to fill my mind, the sound of her voice, her smile of enjoyment, the scent of her perfume. How much more powerful are our unconscious senses to our conscious ones.

Yet I realised this is indeed a journey I must take alone. Disappointed, though not at all cross, I had to come to terms with the fact that not one member of my blood family remembered - or if they did no-one picked up the phone, dropped me a card, or sent around flowers. The loss of one's spouse is a very isolating experience, the more so when one's loneliness is emphasised. I am not cross because I know I have failed to remember or connect with friends at important times. So I am talking to myself as much, if not more than to anyone else.

So we need to remind ourselves again that, 'no man is an island'. We are built for community and companionship. I for one continue to work to secure my place in such a creative community, both freely to give of myself in the support and service of others, as well as to become a beneficiary.

But just as I sit down to write this there is the sweetest moment of the day, a sign of fresh growth in the abandoned landscape around me. One of Katey's oldest friends, Candy, drops a note through on Facebook just to say she has noted this day and sends her love. It is like a cool bottle of water in an arid desert after a days trekking. Someone who I am sure has also struggled especially with this day. I retire to bed encouraged and grateful for this voice of compassion and warm embrace of understanding. What a difference a day makes!